Ola...

Life...

Maka...

My Administrative Assistant, Anita, has a rock on her cubicle at work. Looking at it the other day, it has a face. What are the chances of that?

Journeys...

I remember when I flew to Washington D.C. on short notice to retrieve my Father and bring him home in 2014. He was in a care home in Maryland. I stayed in a hotel right by the airport. I had about forty-eight hours from the time I landed until the time we were both set to leave Dulles to return to Hawai’i. There were so many unknowns. I hadn’t seen my Father in over eight months and his Dementia had only been worsening. 

I had made arrangements with the nurses and staff of the care home he was in to get him up and ready at about 3:00 in the morning, to make the journey straight to the airport and get on our flight before his new wife found out, and inevitably notified the authorities and her lawyers. There were so many unknowns that day, 5000 miles away from home. If I were stopped, at any point, I would never get another opportunity to get him home as his new spouse was trying to have him examined by two physicians, and had retained a high powered law firm to gain guardianship of him. They were preparing court documents already.

This was my only chance. I practiced the forty minute drive from my hotel, to the care home, and back to the airport, about five times, to make sure that I knew exactly where I needed to go. It was confusing with so many roads, exits and toll-booths.

I didn’t sleep at all the night before that morning when I was supposed to retrieve him. I started my drive about 1:00am on that Sunday, June 1^st, my sister Nalani’s Birthday. I had to wait for his prescriptions at a pharmacy in Virginia at 2:00am before heading to Maryland. Thank God for GPS. I would never have had made it. 

I remember driving down the suburban street headed to the 24-hour pharmacy in a residential neighborhood, about 1:30 in the morning, when I noticed something trotting along the sidewalk keeping pace with my car. It was a red fox. Just moving along the sidewalk with my vehicle. It seemed like it was quite some time we stayed together as I drove slowly. Very surreal. I felt like our Iroquois ancestors were there with me. Kind of like how the two large and rare Golden Eagles were circling above my rental car when I first landed at Dulles and first retrieved my vehicle. I needed every sign of support as I was alone and fearful of failure. Fearful of never seeing my Father again.

I made it to the care home about 3:00am and drove carefully through the dark surrounding neighborhood, a route which I studied many times during the day practice trips, trying not to look suspicious and attract the attention of law enforcement or troopers. If I was pulled over, the line of questioning could very well inevitably risk my whole mission and journey.

When I pulled into the front of the care home driveway, I buzzed the front door and a nurse opened the door cautiously at that ungodly hour. I let her know who I was, and she summoned several other nurses and caretakers. They brought my Father out in a wheelchair. I was so nervous as to his reaction. If he would be mad. If he would even recognize me as his son. When  he came out, he sat there. Motionless. Emotionless. Like he was in a catatonic state. I looked at him and smiled and said,  in my most cheerful and confident voice, “It’s me Dad! Kai! I’m here to take you out of here. Take you home.”

There was no reaction or response whatsoever. He sat there, staring at the floor. He didn't even look up at me. I could sense the awkwardness in the air for all who witnessed that exchange. And I sensed sorrow as well.

We busied ourselves getting outside to the rental car as a nurse helped my Father up and out of the wheelchair on his stiff and shaky legs. Other staff loaded up his clothes and belongings and lots of adult diapers and cleaning wipes. We got him in the car and got his seatbelt on after some struggle. I hugged the workers really tight, and thanked them profusely for caring for my Father and for helping me get him out and home before I truly lost any legal hope of being able to fight for him, to fulfill the promise to my Mother, to care for my Father after she left this World. Most importantly, to bury them together for Eternity.

The staff wished me great luck in my Journey home and getting my Father through airport security since his new wife had all of his current identification cards. I only had an old military I.D. card I had found a decade before, and somehow kept it. My Father, a retired Lt. Colonel in the United States Marine Corps, was a Captain in that old card and decades younger. I didn’t know how TSA would react since he hardly looked like the same young person staring back from that green laminated card. My only saving grace was that there was no expiration date on that old card. I thought that it would still be valid as an ID. Anyway, I would cross that bridge later.

I got into the car and put on my seatbelt. I put my hand on the gear shifter to put the vehicle into Drive, when I saw my Father slowly move his left hand over to mine, and wrap it around my hand still on the shifter. He then slowly reached his right hand over as well and  put both hands onto my hand. I reached over and held both of his hands with both of mine. He held on so tight.

I looked over at him. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. I started sobbing. As I cried, I said, “It’s going to be okay Dad. I’m here. I got you. I’m taking you home with me. You are safe now Marine.” He squeezed even harder and just held on to me.

With my one free hand, I set the GPS to get us to the rental car facility and then to Dulles airport for our flight. He never let go of my right hand, as we began the long arduous Journey home. I knew if I  was ever lost so far away, that my Father, would stop at nothing to bring me home.

I knew my beloved late Mother was with us at that moment as well, as we headed off into the darkness together. The three of us...

Visitation...

This is the Woman who visits me every Night. She is knitting something for me. Not sure what it is. So Sweet of her. I can hardly wait...

Directions...

He Lani ko Luna...
He Honua ko Lalo...

Heaven Above...
Earth Below...

Pa'akai...

Love...

I Closed my Eyes...

Quieted my Heart...

Until there was Nothing...

No Earth...

No Heaven...

Just You...

Endless...

My Love for You...
Knows No Bounds...
It is Truly...
Endless...

Ha'aheo...

Makua...

Holiday Inn...

After the Hunt...

Mana...

Krischan...

A Rare Jewel...
Amidst the Stones...
Your Shining Light...
Only Grows...
In a Suffering Land...
Buried Deep Within Hearts...
Who Cherish...
And Love You...
Rest Beloved...
Amongst the Stars...

Ascend...

Love...

The other day I was walking along Dillingham Boulevard in the late afternoon to pick up my car so I could pick up one of my sons from school. As I passed a large driveway into a commercial building, my eyes glanced down and I saw a young bird, a fledgling, who looked like she may have tried to fly from the large tree next to the sidewalk, who was horribly crushed at the edge of the driveway. I cringed at the scene as she looked like she may have been run over by a car or stomped on by a pedestrian. I felt sick inside.

As I passed, something made me glance back one more time, and as I did, she lifted her wobbly head briefly, then let it fall back down. I was more horrified that she was still alive. I stopped in my tracks, thought about what to do, as my Heart pounded, then walked back towards her.

Her head was raw and bloody with no feathers or skin on it. Like a vulture looks. Her body was contorted and partially smashed. I couldn't believe she was hanging in there. She lifted her head and looked up at me then dropped it again. My Heart was again pounding about what to do.

There were two large men hanging around outside of an adjacent bar and I realized they were watching me when their raucous and boisterous inebriated conversation suddenly quieted. I thought about trying to pick her up and move her out of the driveway. Fortunately, I had put some napkins in my shirt pocket and pulled them out. I bent over and gently picked her up with the napkins and was horrified to see her stomach contents and some of her viscera pour out below onto the cement.

I carefully carried her over to the adjacent tree, and placed her on the ground, between two large roots, in a more quiet and secure location, wrapped in her white veil of soft napkins. I could still sense the two men watching me, as well as people in vehicles inching along in afternoon traffic and adjacent to me.

I covered her over with a small flat piece of plywood I found nearby to try and protect her from stray cats or other predators. After she was tucked in, I turned and continued my Journey and walked past the two still silent men.

I suddenly had tears streaming down my face as I recalled her suffering. I thought that maybe I should just put her out of her misery, walk back to the tree, and end her suffering in an equally brutal act of violence. But the thought of that just made me more sad. I couldn't do it. I felt conflicted. More tears fell as I walked. I didn't care if people in the cars were looking at the strange man with issues. I was still trying to process my actions and decide if it was the right thing to do.

Then I did the only thing I could do in these situations. I Prayed. I humbly asked my Greatest Teacher and Companion, Christ, to help the situation. I asked Him to Heal and Resurrect her completely, which only He can do, or to end her suffering right away and bring her home.

I continued on my Journey and for the rest of day, the thought, and sight of that bird, flowed in and out of my mind. The next day, in the afternoon, I had to walk that same path again. Before I began my Journey, I thought about my bird and went through different scenarios of what I might find when I looked at her body.

As I walked along the sidewalk for quite awhile, and approached the scene, I strained to look ahead at the area where I left her. The board was still there. As I came upon the place, I moved the board over. There was nothing. No bird. No feathers. No blood. No guts. No napkin. Nothing. It was about as clean and sterile a scene as you could get.

As stunned as I was, after preparing myself for another sad viewing, it truly was a relief not to see this poor bird again, all torn up from some predator, or covered in ants. It would have opened up the wounds from the previous day and the guilt.

My rational Mind tells me, that a cat may have come in the dark of night and taken her body away. Or rats. Or a dog. But my Heart tells me that Christ brought her home. Simply because I humbly and genuinely asked. I Prayed. I Cried. Out of Love and Compassion. Simple as That. This is what I Believe. See you on the Other Side Sweetheart...

Mo'o...

Just the Two of Us...

Curves...

"What a long sharp curved beak you have" I said...
"All the better to poke your eyes out" she replied...

Kaumaha...

I noticed that this artificial kalo plant at my workplace carries a lot of kaumaha. Heaviness, sadness and burden. Just like me...

Kūpuna...

Aloha 'Āina...

Love...

Embers...
Smoldering...
Glowing...
Enraptured...
By You...

Nā Kūpuna...

Morning...

I Gently Awoke..
To the Morning Moon...
A Sweet Sight to Behold...
"I Watched you Sleep last Night"...
She whispered...
"That's Creepy" I responded...
"You are Creepy" she said...
"I know You Are but What am I"...
I added...
"Grow Up" she yelled...
Alas...
That's the Last...
We have Spoken...