Lost...

To Gaze Upon...
Your Beauty...
Abandons Me...
To be Forever Lost...
In the Sea of Love...

Intention...

The stone kahuna cup. The kapu ahi kuni 'anā'anā. The maunu, or bait, of a person. Personal clothing. Hair. Fingernails. Spittle. Excrement. Anything that has your Essence could be used by a kahuna 'anā'anā to perform rituals and incantations to manipulate Spirit, and impact your Spirit, through the unseen powerful threads that connect you to your personal bodily essences. A stone bowl used to take Life or bring sickness and harm to others can still have residual power long after its use and function ended centuries ago. 

The pa'akai 'alaea, or red-ocherous tinted sea salt has Healing and Purifying properties when used properly for Spiritual Cleansing. This particular pa'akai came from Hanapēpē on Kaua'i, and was mixed with 'alaea from Hawai'i Island in 1998, almost twenty-years ago, by Kahuna Lā'au Lapa'au Henry "Papa" Auwae for a gathering of burial practitioners who came together to address ongoing harm to our Beloved Iwi Kūpuna.  The Bones of our Ancestors. It was a Powerful mixture of Sacred Cultural Resources unifying Kaua'i and Hawai'i Island Spiritually. 

The bowl has been cleansed of any negative energy or residual elements of 'ino which may have taken Human Life. Negative Energy can be reversed and replaced with Positive Energy. It is a part of Healing. However, Positive Energy can also be replaced by Negative Energy as well. It works both ways. 

We shouldn't Judge the past Ways of Life through our modern experiences. We shouldn't pass Judgment on our kūpuna either. We try to learn and understand the Truths and Lessons of our Amazing and Powerful History and Hawaiian Culture. To understand the Benevolent Healing aspects, and to try and avoid the hurtful and the harmful.

When we collectively embrace our Ancestors, with Love, Understanding, Forgiveness, Appreciation, Humility and Gratitude, it doesn't matter who killed who in a Battle. It doesn't matter who killed who for the offering, the mōhai, on the sacrificial lele. If we, the descendants, the mo'opuna, learn to Love and Forgive Each Other, to mend the wounds and hurt of the past, it brings Great Redemption and Healing to all of our collective Ancestors. If we turn their suffering, their regrets, and their broken dreams into a Beautiful Remembrance and Honoring, and Acknowledgment with Humility and Gratitude, we can both Heal the Future, and Heal the Past, at the same time.

Most importantly, we can Heal the Now. All the Negative Energy from envy, jealousy, insecurities, covetousness,  greed, ego and the like can be lovingly let go. Life isn't a Competition. We will all cross the Finish Line. The longer you take, the more Lessons you can learn and understand and embody. The more Soul-Fulfilling Love and Compassion you can Emanate to help others grow on their Journey. Being Last Place has its Rewards...

Maka...

Ne'epapa...

Hālau o Kekuhi...

Hula...

Kūlia...

Kūlia e loa'a kā na'auao...
Strive to Obtain Wisdom...

Maka...

Hula...

Hula Kahiko...

'Oli...

Joy...

Hula...

Grateful...

I am seriously trying to declutter my Life and let go of things that no longer serve a purpose, as much as I think I may need them in the future. I am also gathering up my stories, documents and other ephemera as well to help me finish my book. Fortunately, I had found a little notepad that my late sister Nalani had given me. She had taken copious notes in June of 2012 when I ended up in the hospital. I never really read through them, until tonight. It was sobering. She started notes right when my wife had called her crying to tell her of my precarious status. 

June 27, 2012: Kai taken to Emergency at Queens. 100% serious. 30% chance of survival. Life threatening. Dying. Doctor said wife and boys need to prepare for possible situation of death. Kai's cholesterol is extremely high. Neck opened with tubes and IV. Doctor said Kai still young, so hopeful. Kidneys, Lungs and Heart failing. On machines. Can't talk. Coma. Life Support.

July 1, 2012: Dr. Chris Fayek, Head of ICU. Comforted wife. Said Kai is in good hands. Still very serious however. Pancreatitis is serious. Assured her he will take good care of him. Nurse Sarah asked him to check Kai's lungs because he may be developing Pneumonia. Dr. Fayek said long sputem from lungs not looking good. Will order antibiotics. 8:00pm Nurse Kerri said Kai can hear.

July 2, 2012: Dr. Ikeda IUC physician. Check IV wound on right arm. Will have surgeon take a look. Kai still on ventilator. ICU Nurse said too many visitors. Chaotic. No visitors. Nurse Denise said Kai has ICU Delirium. Disoriented. Confused. Distressed. Said Kai has Diabetes. Very very sick. Kai will be in hospital awhile. He needs to make major changes. Kai needs sleep apnea machine but have to wait until he is extubated to clear airway. Tomorrow need X-Ray for lungs and pneumonia. Ultrasound to check Gallbladder. Still concerned with secretions from lungs. Has fever. Up and down. Lots of antibiotics.

July 3, 2012: Kai's Birthday. Nurse Denise said need to schedule X-Ray and Ultrasound. Dr. Nip will come look at IV arm wound. MRSA? Sputem lighter. May take off of ventilator today. Extubate as well. Jennifer Thomas, 4th Year Medical student attending to Kai. Breathing better on his own around Noon. Denise said his fever is spiking again. Dr. Lavan came to see Kai at 2:45. Said Kai has Global Encephalopathy. Brain malfunctioning. Denise concurred. Kai not as responsive and not talking much yet. Fever coming back. Dr. Ikeda said Dr. Nip will look at Kai's arm. Necrotic black tissue around IV wound. Dr. Ikeda say he thinks when ER IV put in, medicine infiltrated skin tissue and damaged tissue, so turning black.

I had to stop reading there as so many emotions, including the fear and pain of that time returned. To see Nalani's Beautiful handwriting and what was happening through her eyes humbles me to no end. I am so grateful to have her words and observations. I also want to Honor the Doctors, Nurses and other staff who helped to Save my Life. Having their names helps me. Nalani shared this Daily Journey with me for another four months.

Even when I was released to go home for a week, with three drainage tubes sticking out of my abdomen, before ending up dehydrated and anemic, and back in the ER and back in the ICU before finally undergoing a risky surgery on my Pancreas. Truly Humbling that Nalani continues to Bless my Life even after she left this corporeal realm. I chose this flower photo because it shows me kissing my sister when I see her in Heaven.

This is a stark reminder to take care of myself and not revert back to old habits. That my family was told to prepare for my death. How selfish of me. The Hawaiians named the pancreas, "Mālama." We all need to Mālama. Ourselves First and Foremost. Then Everyone and Everything else in this Hurting World...

Absolutely Thrilled...

'Olu...

Hula...

He Hula...

A Hula Dancer...

Hula...

Aloha Kekahi i Kekahi...

Love One Another...

No'ono'o...

Reflection...

Noho...

Maka...

Hula...

Prince Lot Hula...

Destiny...

In College, I really thought I was going to be a Rockstar. I never felt so Alive as when I was playing guitar, singing, and feeling the vibrations go through my body from my amplified speaker and effects boxes. To touch the Spirit of thousands of people, or even tens of thousands of people, like my favorite bands touched mine, was a Dream. Like thousands of other aspiring musicians, it never worked out because a flow of events and decisions took me in an opposite course in Life. Decades later, I was shown a Vision that had I chosen that Musical Journey, I wouldn't be here now. Physically here. Alive. We shouldn't always lament broken Dreams. We should actually Celebrate them...