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Saturday, July 22, 2017

'Oli...


Joy...

Friday, July 21, 2017

Hula...


Grateful...


I am seriously trying to declutter my Life and let go of things that no longer serve a purpose, as much as I think I may need them in the future. I am also gathering up my stories, documents and other ephemera as well to help me finish my book. Fortunately, I had found a little notepad that my late sister Nalani had given me. She had taken copious notes in June of 2012 when I ended up in the hospital. I never really read through them, until tonight. It was sobering. She started notes right when my wife had called her crying to tell her of my precarious status. 

June 27, 2012: Kai taken to Emergency at Queens. 100% serious. 30% chance of survival. Life threatening. Dying. Doctor said wife and boys need to prepare for possible situation of death. Kai's cholesterol is extremely high. Neck opened with tubes and IV. Doctor said Kai still young, so hopeful. Kidneys, Lungs and Heart failing. On machines. Can't talk. Coma. Life Support.

July 1, 2012: Dr. Chris Fayek, Head of ICU. Comforted wife. Said Kai is in good hands. Still very serious however. Pancreatitis is serious. Assured her he will take good care of him. Nurse Sarah asked him to check Kai's lungs because he may be developing Pneumonia. Dr. Fayek said long sputem from lungs not looking good. Will order antibiotics. 8:00pm Nurse Kerri said Kai can hear.

July 2, 2012: Dr. Ikeda IUC physician. Check IV wound on right arm. Will have surgeon take a look. Kai still on ventilator. ICU Nurse said too many visitors. Chaotic. No visitors. Nurse Denise said Kai has ICU Delirium. Disoriented. Confused. Distressed. Said Kai has Diabetes. Very very sick. Kai will be in hospital awhile. He needs to make major changes. Kai needs sleep apnea machine but have to wait until he is extubated to clear airway. Tomorrow need X-Ray for lungs and pneumonia. Ultrasound to check Gallbladder. Still concerned with secretions from lungs. Has fever. Up and down. Lots of antibiotics.

July 3, 2012: Kai's Birthday. Nurse Denise said need to schedule X-Ray and Ultrasound. Dr. Nip will come look at IV arm wound. MRSA? Sputem lighter. May take off of ventilator today. Extubate as well. Jennifer Thomas, 4th Year Medical student attending to Kai. Breathing better on his own around Noon. Denise said his fever is spiking again. Dr. Lavan came to see Kai at 2:45. Said Kai has Global Encephalopathy. Brain malfunctioning. Denise concurred. Kai not as responsive and not talking much yet. Fever coming back. Dr. Ikeda said Dr. Nip will look at Kai's arm. Necrotic black tissue around IV wound. Dr. Ikeda say he thinks when ER IV put in, medicine infiltrated skin tissue and damaged tissue, so turning black.

I had to stop reading there as so many emotions, including the fear and pain of that time returned. To see Nalani's Beautiful handwriting and what was happening through her eyes humbles me to no end. I am so grateful to have her words and observations. I also want to Honor the Doctors, Nurses and other staff who helped to Save my Life. Having their names helps me. Nalani shared this Daily Journey with me for another four months.

Even when I was released to go home for a week, with three drainage tubes sticking out of my abdomen, before ending up dehydrated and anemic, and back in the ER and back in the ICU before finally undergoing a risky surgery on my Pancreas. Truly Humbling that Nalani continues to Bless my Life even after she left this corporeal realm. I chose this flower photo because it shows me kissing my sister when I see her in Heaven.

This is a stark reminder to take care of myself and not revert back to old habits. That my family was told to prepare for my death. How selfish of me. The Hawaiians named the pancreas, "Mālama." We all need to Mālama. Ourselves First and Foremost. Then Everyone and Everything else in this Hurting World...

Absolutely Thrilled...


'Olu...


Hula...


Thursday, July 20, 2017

He Hula...


A Hula Dancer...

Hula...


Aloha Kekahi i Kekahi...


Love One Another...

No'ono'o...


Reflection...

Noho...


Maka...


Hula...


Prince Lot Hula...


Destiny...


In College, I really thought I was going to be a Rockstar. I never felt so Alive as when I was playing guitar, singing, and feeling the vibrations go through my body from my amplified speaker and effects boxes. To touch the Spirit of thousands of people, or even tens of thousands of people, like my favorite bands touched mine, was a Dream. Like thousands of other aspiring musicians, it never worked out because a flow of events and decisions took me in an opposite course in Life. Decades later, I was shown a Vision that had I chosen that Musical Journey, I wouldn't be here now. Physically here. Alive. We shouldn't always lament broken Dreams. We should actually Celebrate them...

Wela...


Maka...


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Noho...


Hula...


Ua Hala...



Repost from 2009: 

Hala. Passing. A good friend called me yesterday from a hospice in Wai'anae on O'ahu where his mother is staying. He said she is ready to pass on to the other side. She wanted to see me. I went out this morning with a co-worker. We spent the morning in her presence and that of the ancestors. Her spirit was still strong but her body is quickly fading. We prayed. I had brought some food for the nurses and then some delicious Hawaiian food for his mom. We ate poi, dried aku, ahi limu poke, tako poke and shared such a beautiful time. Laughing. Crying. Praying. She spoke intermittently of things that only could have come from the other side. She was listening to the ancestors and saying things, singing, and offering bits of precious mana'o and 'ike Hawai'i. Thoughts and Hawaiian vision. 

In between her normal self. We treasured each bit of messages from the ancestors. She wanted to see another person too. 'Ohana from Kaua'i. Another frontline warrior trying to save the 'aina, the land, and our cultural sites for the mo'opuna, the future. We got him on the phone. He cried. He is flying over to O'ahu to see her before she passes. When we parted, I made sure I held her hand tight. Kissed her forehead. Looked deep in her eyes. And let her know how much I loved her and that I had humbly asked Ke Akua, through my prayers, to deliver her into His hands at His will.


Later when I dropped off her son at his home, we embraced and both burst out into an unexpected cascade of tears and sobbing as we hugged. It was the kaumaha of fifteen years of knowing each other and the fights we have been through to save our 'aina. We were delivered messages. We were losing another hulu kupuna who gave years of her life to protect the bones of our ancestors. E holomua kakou. We will continue the fight. Her biggest message. We must not let the spirit of Haloa, our kalo plant, whither away and die. The rotten kalo. Just like the kino, the body, will die and rot away when the 'uhane, the spirit, leaves. So will the Hawaiian people, if we let the spirit of the kalo die. We must sustain the spirit. We must sustain. It is through Aloha. Love. Forgiveness. Truth. Pono...

Ne'epapa...


Oli...


Mea Hula...


Aloha...


To dance Hula, then Gift your Lei to someone in the audience. How Beautiful is that?

Ho'omau...


Perpetuate...