Lessons...

I share certain stories not to gather accolades, but to reflect upon experiences, as I choose words to describe them, to help me understand the important lessons for my Life. Sometimes others benefit from the introspection as well. 

The other day, I stopped by a grocery store to grab something to eat. Upon approaching the entrance to the establishment, I noticed a white haired elderly woman sitting by a trash can on a low rock wall near the entrance. I immediately knew she was homeless by all appearances and indicators. She wasn't familiar to me, as I tend to keep track of various homeless and houseless individuals who reside in and around my neighborhood. 

I kind of adopt them by sharing money, food or drink with them, when the opportunity presents itself, much like so many Beautiful Inspiring friends I know. Some people give a portion of their income to their church, I tend to give a portion of my income for my church, which has no four walls, but exists within the boundaries of the four cardinal directions of the World.

I entered the store and picked up some cooked ready-to-eat chicken thighs as I was ravenous. I left the store and headed to the small eating area right outside and as I passed this elderly woman, I was able to get a closer look. I was horrified to see her feet and legs, partially bandaged, but so swollen, skin peeling, a reddish purplish complexion, open sores and ulcerating seeping patches. She sat there, looking wistfully at her legs, reaching down and poking portions of the rawness.

I walked past, sat down, pondering her condition as I opened my small tray and began eating the pieces of chicken. I happened to glance up at her, and I saw her pull something out of the trash next to her, look it over and put it back in. I quickly finished my food as I needed to get back to work. 

I glanced up again and saw her peer around the trashcan and look at me furtively. Once we made eye contact, my Heart sunk and tears welled up in my eyes as she reminded me of my own Mother from a distance. I already knew what I needed to do. Although low on cash with a maxed out credit card, I re-entered the store and looked around for something ready to eat. I found a nice bowl of chicken and rice and grabbed a large cold bottle of water as well.

While in the cashier line, I was already thinking about how I would approach her. I also thought about contingencies like if she was hostile towards me. If she started yelling. If she grabbed the bowl and threw it. How would I react. I wasn't familiar with her at all. Spirit was just helping to prepare me for  a variety of potential reactions.

The cashier looked at me and I knew she remembered that I had just come through after buying the other chicken and must have thought that I was still hungry. I laughed and she smiled at me.

I exited the store, took a deep breath and approached her. She was smoking a partial cigarette that she must have found. I said, "Hi Sweetheart..." She looked up. Her eyes were light blue, still bright, but full of pain. A pain that most of us will never know or fully understand. Her face was clean, full of wrinkles and lines from exposure to the elements.

I put the bowl down next to her and she started shaking her head back and forth and muttered, "No..." as she peered over at the contents of the bowl. I said "I don't know if you can eat chicken? Or eat rice?" 

She looked away, then back and said again, "No...I don't eat that..." 

I felt bad and slightly embarrassed as people were sitting around watching the interaction. I then showed her the water and asked her "would you like cold water? I can open it for you..." She looked up and muttered "I don't drink water..." as she began mumbling under her breath, somewhat irritated, something indiscernible. 

She looked down at the bowl again and looked up and said, "Don't leave that food here..."

Spirit told me at that point, my work is done here. Time to leave before something erupts into more of a scene. I looked at her again and said, "Alright Sweetheart, so sorry. You take care now..." as I grabbed the bowl of food and still carrying the bottled water, went to my car. 

I thought for a moment about what I was going to do with the food and water. Spirit immediately told me to simply find someone else who needed it. It was bought with Love. Give that Love to anyone else who needs it right now. 

So I got in my car and started driving, going past areas where I knew people on the street hung out as I quickly headed home to grab a binder of research for work. 

To my astonishment, I didn't see anyone in these areas like I usually do when driving by in my daily commute. I was starting to get worried because I couldn't spend too much time driving around and searching. But as I turned the corner near my home, I saw a huddled figure sitting on a bus stop, back to the World, next to a shopping cart filled with trash and belongings. 

I immediately circled the block once more to come back around and quickly parked my car. I again ran scenarios of potential reactions through my head as I approached the hunched over figure. 

I came up right upon the person, who appeared to be sleeping soundly, wrapped in clothes and a blanket, holding onto her shopping cart, head on arms, most likely exhausted from staying up all night and the dangers the darkness brings. 

I could't see any face, just darkened hands and feet under layers and layers of dirty clothes. A mysterious bundled female human form. 

I didn't want to startle her, but said, "Aloha Sweetheart..." to no reaction. Just the rhythmic body movements of heavy labored breathing in deep sleep. I tried one more time, a little louder, "Excuse me... Hello..." again to no reaction.

At that point, Spirit told me don't try to wake her. Just leave her a Gift. So I looked at her cart and quietly placed the food and water right on top where she couldn't miss it when she awoke.

I returned to my car and went home to look for my binder. After about fifteen minutes, I found the binder and exited my building, but not before passing the mailroom where building residents often leave books, magazines and other household items no longer needed, for other residents to utilize.

There was a solitary book sitting on the small table. Spirit told me to go in and look at it, even though I was in a rush to get back to work. I did. The title was "Deep Wounds. Deep Healing." About Spiritual Warfare. I said, "Perfect! Mahalo Ke Akua" as I picked up the book to peruse later.

As I went to my car, I thought about the person whom I gave the food and water too. Would they eat it? Discard it? Ignore it? 

Spirit told me that was irrelevant. It was the Act of Love, not the end Result, that Truly Mattered. I pondered it as I started up the car. Then Spirit told me, it wasn't important for me to wake her up only to have her see me giving her the food with a Smile and Aloha. That would, of course, be Healing for her and restore some of her Faith in Humanity. But by leaving it there quietly, when she Awoke, the mystery of the food and water would present a more valuable Healing. A Mystery. A Miracle. An Angel? A Spirit? God? It would help to restore some of her Faith, not necessarily in Humanity, but in Life itself. A much needed Hope.

"Brilliant" I said, as I thanked my Spirit Guides.

As I drove back to work, I passed by the bus stop, and strained to see past the other moving vehicles if she had awoken yet. 

I glanced over and saw her, with back still turned to the World. hungrily scooping chicken and rice into her mouth. 

I burst into tears, surprised by my own emotional visceral unexpected reaction. I quickly wiped my cheeks and the strewn tears away as I turned my focus back onto the road and traffic in front of me. I took one last glance in my rearview mirror as I drove further and further away, and thanked Ke Akua for allowing me to witness the results of my decision. Thanking Him for the invaluable lesson. Restoring Faith in Life itself...

Later that early evening, upon returning home, I passed the bus stop, but there was not a Soul there. She was gone. No sign at all that she had even been there. 

As I recalled the day and the whole episode beginning when I first passed the older woman at the store, up until the time I gave the food quietly to the sleeping woman, and was so Blessed to witness her gulping it down. Feeding her Body. Feeding my Soul. I thought about the lessons learned. 

I realized that I had never seen the face of the sleeping woman. Just two dark skinned hands and two dark skinned feet and a bundled human form. I began to wonder who she was. Spirit suggested something Special may have happened that I had yet to realize. 

I thought about this Mysterious woman. A Miracle?  An Angel? A Spirit? God? Then I was immediately Gifted Right then and there, some much needed Healing. Deep Healing. Restoring my Faith in Life itself. Mahalo Ke Akua...