Life...

I came out to my car today and almost stepped on a Honeybee that was laying on the asphalt right behind my car. I immediately thought of my bee encounter last week and quickly wondered if it could possibly be the same bee that I had thought was dying as she clung to my shirt, but who just needed respite and rest before she regained strength and flew away.

I crouched down knowing that I couldn't leave her there because I was going to back up my car and didn't want to run her over, or have someone else run her over.

She was fixed in one place, right behind my car, and clinging to the ground, moving almost imperceptibly, as her front legs alternately stroked her antennae.  It was such a surreal déjà vu moment for me.

I slowly squatted down, which was no easy feat in and of itself, and slowly placed my finger in front of her as I said, "Come on Sweetheart, climb up so I can place you somewhere safer."

To my surprise, she crawled ever so slowly and started feeling my finger with her antennae, and turned her head 90 degrees to look up at me. 

I saw her little eye, shining in the Sun, staring back. I remained equally fixated on her. It was a moment of profound deep connection and understanding.

My mind raced as what to do next, as I didn't want to risk crushing her by trying to pick her up. She wasn't crawling up either. Just staring intently.

Then without warning, she died. She slowly fell to her side and her legs curled up, into the fetal position. Much like how we would tie up the legs of our Hawaiian ancestors, into the fetal position, before lowering them into a hole, or laying them down for their Eternal Rest.

I watched her abdomen. No sign of Life. It was that instantaneous. The only other time I witnessed the exact moment of Death. Of the Soul exiting the body was with my own Mother in 2010. It is still raw.

A dead leaf blew towards me, and I took the leaf and carefully coaxed her lifeless body onto the flat edge of the leaf and then into the palm of my hand. 

Just then, a Beautiful friend stopped his UPS truck by me, smiled and asked me what I was doing crouching down in the middle of the parking lot. I smiled and said, "A bee..."

He smiled and chuckled and drove off.  I think he may know me by now. 

I looked at her closely for any signs of Life. None...

I carried her back into my office and placed her little body in a tiny wooden 'umeke, a bowl, on my cabinet. I'm not sure where I will bury her. I am letting the multitude of Spirits in my rocks and wooden images, and other ancestors present, pay their respects to this Beautiful little hard working Life Giver. Until I return her to Mother Earth. A little wake for her.

I found out this morning that a very Beautiful Friend and Brother passed away yesterday. One who gave so much of himself protecting and caring for our deceased ancestors and their Earthly Remains. I am still stunned and grieving. 

But my little Beautiful bee friend taught me some important and valuable lessons today. For that, I am eternally grateful. She helped me to Heal.

And could it be the same Honeybee that clung to my shirt last week and who Resurrected with a little Love and Compassion. Yes. I absolutely Believe. As impossible and improbable as it may seem. I Believe in Magic and Miracles. I have witnessed them both. Throughout my Life.

Thank you my little Sweetheart. Rest easy. Go with Love. My Love. Our Love...

And Take my Love to my Beautiful friend and brother who passed away in his Sleep. I never was able to say Goodbye. Give him my Love as well. And my Mother...