Busted...

After my first year in law school, I entered summer without a job. Many of my classmates had applied for, and interviewed for, coveted clerkships or other positions to earn money since we were discouraged from working during our difficult year of law school study. Many proudly announced where they would be working. Already late in the game, I was fortunate to land a coveted position in a well-known Commercial Litigation firm with heavy hitter politically connected partners. My Supervising Attorney, Kealoha, who hired me, was a Native Hawaiian who felt an affinity for helping me, as there weren’t many Native Hawaiian attorneys or judges at the time. We became close and he looked out for me. I was so humbly appreciative and really owed him for helping to get me hired.

My first assigned case involved a large homeowner lawsuit against a well-known developer when flooding through the subdivision he developed ripped up roads and homes in a notorious destructive incident. I was working around 60-70 hour weeks and quickly burning out. I wanted to make a good impression, especially for Kealoha who stuck his neck out to help hire me so late in the game. I remember at my interview, being dressed in a borrowed three-piece suit, with ill-fitting vest, and trying desperately to hide the bright-blue 1970’s Mickey Mouse watch that I had borrowed from my sister, Nalani, so I wouldn’t be late for my interview.

One morning, I grabbed my research materials and headed over to the Supreme Court Library to look up cases with some of my fellow law clerks. I put all my files, notes and other belongings on one of the available carrels. I quickly exhausted myself mentally looking around the library at tedious legal ramblings, and when lunchtime came, I gladly went outside to eat a hamburger steak plate lunch from the popular lunch wagon on the side street. With a now full stomach, and drowsiness setting in, I then took a stroll across the street to ‘Iolani Palace, and somehow found myself lying down on the grass under the shade of a gigantic tree. I lay there, gazing up through the darkened canopy and the little smatterings of light blue where the sky gazed back down upon me.

I passed out into deep sleep. Dreaming about some wondrous thing or another, I awoke to little stinging ant nibbles on my ears and neck. My eyes flew open and the first thing I immediately noticed was that the bright noontime sunshine was now headed towards a dimmer, reddish dusk color. I was disoriented momentarily, then remembered that I had lain down and that I was supposed to be doing legal research. Panic set in because we were always told about ensuring we retrieved all of our belongings when the library closed. I made the mistake of using the restroom one day too close to closing time, and when I came out, the library was closed and doors locked. Fortunately, I caught an exiting worker who allowed me to retrieve all of my belongings. I never wanted to go through that again.

I bolted up, and literally ran all the way back to the library, crossing through heavy traffic. The library staff were just locking up and I had moments to spare, so I excitedly entered and was so relieved. I didn’t see any of my fellow law clerks in the migration of attorneys and clerks exiting the building, but did find my books and files right where I left them. I was very proud of myself for averting disaster in the nick of time, as well as very thankful for my Guardian Angels who always pulled me out of binds. I didn’t want to disappoint Kealoha by having to explain to him why all of my case materials, notes, and other confidential legal information was missing and possibly in the hands of opposing counsel from their law clerks who might have stumbled across my seemingly abandoned files.

I walked several busy street blocks back to the office, smiling at people I passed, happy as always. I walked to the plaza where our building was, amidst the throngs of people headed home for the day, or beginning their evening shifts.  I entered our busy building, went up the busy escalator, smiling at people all around me.  I ran to an elevator that was full and just closing, and squeezed myself in front, sucking my stomach in as to not get it caught embarrassingly in the closing elevator doors.

I rushed to our office, not wanting to be too late. As soon as I entered the office, one of my fellow law clerks, as well as a classmate, said, “Where were you? Bryan (another associate attorney) came by looking for you. We found your stuff on the desk, but couldn’t find you.” I replied, as I continued walking through the office, “I might have been in the restroom at the time…sore stomach”, as I smiled and rubbed my tummy. I thought to myself, “Whew! That was close.”

As I neared my office cubicle and starting putting my files away, all proud of myself, Kealoha, my Supervising Attorney, came out of his office, exclaiming in local pidgin, “Eh Hawaiian! Where you was?” I turned and looked at him, smiled and said, “At the law library doing research on negligence liability.” My fellow law clerk and another staffer, a paralegal, both slowly approached our conversation, a little curious, with inviting smiles on their faces.

Kealoha said, “Oh yeah? Really?”, as he approached even closer. He then asked me to turn back around. I did, now facing the other grinning staff, and now a little confused at the request and impish smiles of my co-workers. Kealoha then lovingly said, “Damn Hawaiian…” and sighed as he began brushing the back of my head, shoulders, back and butt off. I was horrified to look down and see grass, leaves, tiny twigs, and other fibrous debris descending to the pristine carpet below me, all around my feet.  It almost seemed like it was an endless “autumn” sprinkling as he continued to brush me harder and harder.

Everyone laughed, especially me. However, I was immediately horrified as I pictured myself entering the law library, walking several busy city blocks, a busy plaza, crowded escalators, and a packed elevator, smiling at everyone, unknowingly covered in grass, leaves and twigs. Oh the shame…lol…