Emergence...

As you unfurl your life it is important to pursue the things that your heart desires. Many others will try to steer you into one direction or another. But only you know what kinds of things make you happy.

I remember my good friend from the Ka'ahumanu public housing project, Sonny, introduced me to one of his good friends from the housing, Tautolu. He was a very large and imposing Samoan male about 22 years old. In college, when we would go out on occasion to Korean strip bars and Tautolu was with us. He would always be bombarded by the proprietors of the establishment to be their security. To work as a bouncer for the club. He was about 6 foot 6 inches tall and at least 400 pounds if not more. But he was a gentle giant with such a soft heart. He didn't want to be around that awful night scene everyday. In fact, we always felt worse when we left than when we arrived. In looking back, it truly was a spiritually draining place and ugly derogatory scene. But the peer pressure of college days leads many a young man to bear witness to what all the sordid stories are truly about as a ridiculous rite of false manhood. Tautolu wanted to go to school and do something working with, and helping children despite his imposing size. I always tried to encourage him to finish school and pursue his dreams of working with children. Especially those little ones in public housing like him who needed someone to help lead them out of poverty and despair. He was truly a gentle loving giant and avoided confrontation. But the pressures to be what society stereotypically thinks you should be always hounded him.

Several years after our nightlife sojourns. I was reading the newspaper and came across a shocking police beat article. I immediately called Sonny only to confirm the worst. Tautolu had taken a job as a security bouncer at an adult store on Kapi'olani Boulevard. One night, several young males got into a confrontation. Tautolo was stabbed in that great big soft heart of his and bled to death right there on the dirty pavement. He never made it to the children. He should have listened to his heart. We all should have...